Am I Tone Deaf?
The term “tone-deaf” is a term we love to throw around a lot. When someone is singing around us and they don’t sound perfect like the heavily auto-tuned pop stars on the radio, we say they are tone-deaf. They can’t sing. They need to “keep their day job.” We tear them down and steal their joy. Even if we mean it in a “fun” teasing way, the words hit home. And they hit hard.
But most people are actually not tone-deaf, they just think they are.
Does this story sound familiar?
You’re a kid riding in the backseat of your parent's car. The radio is blaring one of the popular hits of the day and you are belting it out at the top of your lungs. Having a blast. Loving life.
Then, your brother, sister, or parent tells you that you sound terrible. You must be tone-deaf. Maybe they were just teasing you, but it stung a little. Or maybe it stung a lot. And then the tragedy truly begins.
You start to believe that it’s true. You start to tell yourself that you ARE tone-deaf and you shouldn’t sing because it annoys people. You start singing out loud less and less, only singing to yourself. And then eventually you even stop doing that because what’s the point, right?
This is such a sad story that I think happens to a lot of people. And when it happens to us as kids it is even more damaging. We are so sensitive and impressionable when we are young. If someone tells us something, especially an adult, we just take it as fact. Adults equal God when we are kids. If an adult says something, it’s like God is saying it to us. God can never be wrong so we don’t challenge it at all. We just believe it and take it as truth. And then we internalize it and make it part of our identity. We grow up into adults who never sing anymore because we think we can’t. We just haven’t been blessed by the sirens of music with the mystical gift of singing so we need to keep our mouths shut.
Have you been walking around with this identity? Do you think that you are one of the unfortunate few who are tone-deaf? What would it feel like to find out years later that the person who told you that you were tone-deaf was wrong?
Well, I have good news for you. You are probably not tone-deaf. Most people aren’t.
Do you want to know if you are truly tone-deaf or not? Here is the test:
Tone Deaf Test
Download a piano app on your phone or tablet. They are free. If you have a keyboard or piano at home, you can skip this step.
Play a low note on the keyboard - these are the notes that are on the bottom of the keyboard to the far left.
Next, play a note that is higher on the keyboard - these are the notes that are toward the top of the keyboard to the far right.
Can you hear that the second note is higher than the first? If your answer is yes, then you are not tone-deaf. Congratulations!
If your answer is no, you still may not be tone-deaf, but you may need to practice this a few times until you start to hear when a pitch is higher or lower.
Once you can hear that a pitch is higher or lower, it is just a matter of practice and fine-tuning to get you to the point of being able to sing in tune. You just need to learn what the notes are on the keyboard, practice playing them one at a time, letting them ring in your ear for a while, then try to match the pitch. The key here is to pick a note that is not too high or too low. Try to pick a note in the middle of the keyboard.
How To Not Be Tone Deaf
Many people would love to learn how to sing but they give up because somebody told them once that they are “tone-deaf.” They decided to believe that and gave up on their dream. If that sounds like you, I am here to tell you that you can change that identity today.
Start singing again. Sing a lot. Sing out loud. Sing in front of people. The truth is that singing is supposed to bring us joy. Somewhere along the line we commercialized it and started telling certain people that they are allowed to sing while others are not. We have missed the whole point.
Singing should be an act of expression. It should be a way to transmit joy or sadness. It is meant to be enjoyed within a community. Singing with others is a part of our DNA. It’s what we have always done since the beginning of time. It is meant to be enjoyed by all, not just the chosen few.
Listen to music. Play some notes on the piano. Practice matching the pitch. But don’t worry if you are doing it perfectly or not. Just make some noise. Get out and sing. The more you do it, the more confident you will feel, and the better you will sound.
And tone-deaf or not, I would take someone making a joyful noise any day over someone giving up on life and staying quiet.
